My good friend called the other day, weeping like a baby.  Apparently, she had been bitten by the “Father’s Day bug”. A few years ago, she lost her father whom she loved dearly, in a battle with the big C. Ever since, she periodically succumbs helplessly to episodes of grieving. Episodes that would make anyone wonder what a wonderful man her father must have been. 

Most daughters tend to be “daddy’s girl” indefinitely. I can say this with such conviction because my dad was my best friend and confidant. So, I empathize with daughters like my friend whose fathers have passed. The best way to remember such fathers is to stretch out the memories of every moment spent with them. It is important to celebrate and appreciate the privilege of sharing their lives, especially with people who never met them. Celebrate their lives with grandchildren who never got a chance to cuddle with them, or never received a loving pat on the head. Share their memories with the young adults who never got the opportunity to receive useful advice from them on how to conquer the world. Venerate their existence with the young fathers who would have appreciated a free course from them on surviving the transition to manhood.

To every father, living or passed, we owe the love and respect that is due them, be it deserved or not.  I know this because many adults have heart-breaking stories about their relationships with their fathers.  For many, there is pain caused by some childhood experiences with their fathers. Experiences which are not only unspeakable, but have practically stood in the way of them becoming effective parents themselves. Herein lies the power of the role of a father.

Any man can father a child, but not all men are fathers. Real fathers are men who are prepared to roll up their sleeves and work for the support and upkeep of their families. They are the ones through whose eyes their children see the world. The world that they desire for their families is the world that they design by consistent hard work through the impartation of moral ethics, character building, godliness, love and respect. Real fathers spread the fire of love in their homes by showing love and respect to their wives. They understand that one of the best ways to show love their children is to love their mothers.  When tough times come, real fathers do not whine, nor do they get aggressive or quit. Real fathers do not get too busy to spend quality time with their children because they know that such times are the building blocks of self confidence and the right attitude to face the world. When fathers instill the right attitude and confidence in their children, sons become good fathers and daughters become better mothers.

As we celebrate Father’s Day, it is obvious to me that there are no perfect fathers out there. Nevertheless, there are fathers who have been men enough to accept their imperfections and mustered the courage to do just that makes them worth celebrating this season. As the real fathers stand up to be recognized, here is a toast of courage and gratitude to them. Happy Father’s Day!