Fast food, instant coffee and quick fixes; a few words that well describe our acquired and legitimate way of life on the “fast lane”. Nevertheless, can we truly afford to deal with the delicate subject of parenting in the same way we do our “on the go” meals? Parenting comes with such intuitive and divinely orchestrated responsibilities that a few hours of parenting class prescribed by a psychologist or social worker is never enough to deal with the core issues that are associated with parenthood.

In life, landmark achievements inadvertently follow a process or a divine order. The responsibility of being a parent is one of such. An earnest approach to resolving the legitimacy issues surrounding the rights of children and young parents may be uncomfortable, but is undeniably rewarding. This is especially so in consideration of the evident consequences of poor parenting in our society. When it comes to such a critical topic, playing the game of being “politically correct” will end only in the chaos that we already experience. This chaos is fueled by the following summarized conflicting arguments. Although nature has not provided an appropriate age to commence procreation, morality and ethics have set a pretty fair standard. On the other hand, humanity demands that each individual has the right of ownership of their bodies. Statistically, terminations and adoptions handle only a fraction of teenage and young adult unwanted pregnancies. Of those which fall between the cracks, a significant percentage goes on to become quite unfortunate.

Modern day parenting is a far cry from the norm in past generations. It seems as though parenting has acquired what can best be described as a face lift. As the world glides on the fast lane, with everything from instant gratification to “one-night stands”, many are yet to snap out of it for fear of the light-headed feeling of stepping of off a roller coaster. In reality, family ties and parenting responsibilities are not practical on the fast track of today’s lifestyle.

Today, teenage and young adult parents are such not by chance, but by choice. The constant redefinition of morals and shifting away from Godly parameters in the institution of marriage as well as in parenthood is evident not only in the in the increasing occurrences of failed marriages and divorce, but also in the exponentially growing percentage of defiant children and dysfunctional families.

Being or planning to become a parent can magically conjure several options for an aspiring parent. You have the opportunity to add and subtract from a variety of choices available. In other words, every parent is by default, handed the opportunity to mold the foundation of a child’s personality, perspective and mannerisms. This is considered to be the right of the parent. You know? Something like paying the piper and dictating the tune. Nevertheless, like all other choices in life, you can groom a child and even your parental preferences as long as you are willing and able to pay the price. There is a constant and somewhat appalling debate about the legitimate rights of parents and children which puts the rights of parenting well above the responsibilities. Yet in reality, there can be no rights without responsibility. When we choose one above the other, the consequences are grave.

The high priced and hidden premium that we pay as a society when we look the other way or place rights above responsibility is the gradual and persistent emergence of a community of angry youths and “half-baked” adults whose cry for love and attention is expressed through all forms of social unrest and criminal activities. Whether we choose to accept it or not, it is clear that when humans portray behavioral patterns that are inconsistent with civil behaviors, the reason can be traced back to a faulty family foundation. By such compromised foundations communities are imparted by a distorted image of God in humanity.

Our insistent refusal to obey the laws of God has created a cultural system of perversion today. In the same breath, we hope that this system would help us navigate our way through the darkness of our newly acquired taste on the fast tracks. Each time, the system has not only failed, but we have failed also. We fail when we continue to make excuses about the symptoms we experience rather than the cause of those symptoms. We fail each time we disregard or choose not to report warning signals of child abuse or neglect. We fail even more when we discern criminal activities in our neighborhoods and look the other way because we choose not to get involved. Above all, we fail when we ignore our parental duties or place our social commitments above our families. In my opinion, one of the ugliest consequences of the negligence of parental responsibility is the extreme abuse and neglect of children in our failing foster care system. The survivors of this system who escape upon attainment of the legal age, go on to become depressed and dejected members of society; mostly taking out their frustrations on the systems that led to their misfortune.

Due to the excessive increase in the number of dysfunctional families arising from incarceration or addiction, parental responsibilities are usually transferred to state governments through the social services department.  As much as society will be eternally grateful to the philanthropic and humanitarian gestures of individuals and organizations who step up to the plate to alleviate the sufferings of children caught up in these compromised family structures, we must bear in mind that it was our collective irresponsibility and negligence that put these children at risk in the first place. Thank goodness for earnest families with compassionate hearts who have stepped in response to the increasing need of fostering or adopting homeless and unloved children and having to face very difficult challenges in the process. Such oppositions may be sometimes legally unacceptable but in my opinion are morally correct.

So what does it matter if we identify the root cause of our problems in this regard as the consequence of our social inequality and racial differences, the administrative confusion, inadequate government  intervention, and bottlenecks which characterize the operations of government departments? The truth is that we have swayed from the path of divinely instituted principles. The varied problems of crime, domestic violence, and child abuse cannot be unrelated to the misconduct and ungodly practices of our times. Yet, we choose to call it anything but what it truly is.